27. Vines of Passion
In the wake of danger and betrayal, Naomi must confront her shattered illusions of love and safety in Caleb's arms.
NAOMI
This can’t be life, I whispered to my reflection, staring into the mirror of Caleb’s guest bathroom.
Ever since Jasmine’s intrusion, we’d been avoiding his primary suite, opting instead for one of the guest rooms. I’d later find out, it had been Caleb’s childhood bedroom. I couldn’t bring myself to step back into that other room, not with the memories of Jasmine's gun to my head and the blood-stained carpet still haunting me as a reminder of what happened the other night.
The timing of confessing my love to Caleb felt like a cruel joke now. How could I have known that mere hours later, his ex-wife would be threatening to end my life? Our love was still in its fragile infancy, not yet sturdy enough to withstand such brutality.
Taunting Jasmine had felt like a daring game played in the confines of the elevator. I had met her fire with my own, launching myself at her with a ferocity born of defiance the moment we met. The memory of those confrontations were imprinted in my mind, a moment of unapologetic rebellion that I refused to regret. But now, I wished I’d stayed clear of her.
Caleb's explanation offered a semblance of rationality to Jasmine's descent into madness, her fractured mind a casualty of unseen demons. Yet, despite the logical understanding, fear and anger coiled tightly around my heart, refusing to loosen its grip. Death had loomed too close to me that night, its icy fingers brushing against my skin as I stared into the abyss of mortality.
In the days following, silence enveloped us as I struggled to make sense of it all. Caleb hovered over me like a thick shadow, arranging therapy sessions, accompanying me to the appointments, and holding me so tightly at night that I feared suffocating in his protective embrace. I could barely use the bathroom without him asking me where I was going. His paranoia only fueled my own trauma.
How much more could I bear? I refused to find out.
When Caleb’s father requested his assistance at the winery today, I encouraged him to go, despite the reluctance etched on his face. I needed space to breathe, to think. I assured him I would be just fine by myself.
After agonizing moments spent reliving every twist and turn from the day I first encountered this enigmatic stranger to now finding myself holed up in his home, the very same place where terror had nearly claimed my life mere days ago, I reached a conclusion.
I couldn't remain here any longer.
With trembling hands, I commenced packing my belongings, hastily arranging an Uber in a desperate bid to vanish before Caleb returned home. As I neared the completion of my task, a desperate yearning for the comfort of a familiar voice gripped me, an ache for a slice of home, something comforting.
With trembling fingers, I dialed a number I hadn’t called in far too long.
"Hello?" The voice on the other end answered, tentative yet familiar.
"Frankie," I whispered into the phone, my voice trembling with emotion.
"Naomi?"
We lingered in that pregnant pause, the weight of years of separation and unspoken words hanging heavy between us. Once inseparable since childhood, mine and Franchesca’s bond had been fractured by Jeffrey's isolating grip, leaving me stranded in a sea of loneliness and shame.
"Where are you? Do you need me to come get you?" Frankie's voice cut through the static of my turmoil, her words a beacon of hope in the darkness of my despair.
This was the thing about Frankie. She possessed an innate ability to sense my feelings without a single word exchanged, a gift that made her a threat to Jeffrey's carefully constructed facade. Her intuitive nature could unravel his deceit with a mere glance. God forbid she ever exposed the truth of the hell he subjected me to, her silent intuition a formidable weapon against his manipulation.
Frankie and my grandmother were cut from the same cloth, two women with a sixth sense sharper than any blade. They didn't need words to communicate; their silent exchanges spoke volumes. It was as if they shared a secret language, one that whispered truths and unravelled mysteries with a mere glance. In their presence, secrets trembled and truths danced freely, bound by the invisible threads of their intuition.
"I'm in Cali—" I started, but she interrupted, her concern palpable even through the phone line.
"California? What are you doing way over there?" Her shock mirrored my own sense of displacement. I’m sure she’d assumed I was just a few miles away in Brooklyn. "Are you safe?"
"I... umm..." My voice faltered, memories of safety shattered by the cruel hands of Jasmine. "I need you, Frankie," I managed to whisper, my plea tinged with desperation.
"Say the word, Naomi. I'll come to Cali, or I'll buy you a ticket to come home. I'm not mad at you, and I've never judged you. I just want my friend back," Frankie's words rushed out, a torrent of unwavering loyalty and unconditional love while I assumed she expected me to rush her off the phone like I used to.
Back then, every call with her felt like navigating a minefield, tiptoeing around the truths I couldn't bear to reveal, the secrets I buried beneath layers of shame and fear. Her questions were like probing needles, pricking at the delicate facade I constructed under Jeffery’s wrath. And so, I retreated, letting the silence between us grow into an impenetrable wall, that continued even after he was sent away.
"I just bought a ticket. I'll be home tonight," I confessed, relief flooding my soul at the prospect of escape.
"I'll come get you from the airport. JFK or LaGuardia?" Frankie's practicality cut through the haze of my uncertainty, grounding me in the certainty of her unwavering support.
"JFK," I replied, a faint glimmer of hope igniting within me at the thought of reunion.
"Text me your flight info, and I'll be there at arrivals when you touch down," Frankie promised.
“Ok, let me finish packing. I’ll check in with you before I take off.”, I said.
“Ok.”
I hastily ended the call with Frankie, swiping away the tears that threatened to betray my crumbling resolve. Each droplet felt like a confession, a silent admission of my shattered hopes and dreams.
"You're running again," Caleb's voice pierced the air behind me, his words like the crack of a whip jolting me from my thoughts, causing me a jump.
But I couldn't let the pain etched in Caleb's features sway me. I focused on the task at hand, grappling with the stubborn suitcase that held the fragments of my fractured existence. As I moved around the room, gathering my belongings, I couldn't shake the weight of our shared trauma.
"You promised me you'd stop running," Caleb's voice remained steady amidst the chaos swirling within me.
"Yeah, well, that was before your ex-wife put a gun to my head," I shot back, the weight of my words matching the heaviness of our shared experiences. "Moments like that tend to change things."
Caleb's disbelief was reflected in the furrow of his brow as he struggled to comprehend the depth of how I was feeling. "But you were laughing yesterday, making progress in therapy—"
"That was yesterday," I interjected, my tone tinged with resignation. "My rose-colored glasses have been cracking every day since Jasmine shattered my peace. Today, they're completely broken."
"Naomi—" Caleb began, his voice laden with concern.
"I appreciate your efforts to help me with therapy, Caleb, I really do," I interrupted, my movements becoming more frantic as I packed. "But I can't stay in this house a moment longer. I can't even walk past your bedroom. Even with the door closed, I can see that night all over again, I can feel it."
Caleb's response was swift, his determination palpable. "Okay," he conceded, scrambling to find a solution. "I'll pack a bag too. Let's get out of town. We don’t have to stay here. I know we were supposed to go back to New York, but I don't think you're ready in your current state."
The panic on Caleb's face tore at my heartstrings. But despite the pain, I remained resolute in my decision. This soap opera we were living through was wreaking havoc on my mental well-being.
I had journeyed to California in search of healing, and while Caleb had been a part of that journey, the ghosts of his past—ghosts I wouldn't have encountered if our paths hadn't crossed—had inflicted more trauma just as I began to see a glimmer of hope. It wasn't his fault; he was simply a casualty of circumstance. Yet, my proximity to him had caused irreparable damage, forcing me to confront the harsh reality of our entangled lives.
I turned to face him, desperation clawing at the edges of my resolve. "I can't do this, Caleb!"
He looked as sick as he did the night I stared death in the face in his bedroom. He took a step towards me, but I recoiled, the distance between us a painful reminder of the chasm that had formed between our hearts.
“Can’t do what, Baby? Be with me?”, he asked, making sure he understood what I was saying.
"These past few weeks, they're not real," I insisted, my voice trembling with the weight of my convictions. "People don't fall in love so fast, so hard, amidst the chaos of their ex-spouses' torment." I fought to maintain my composure, my resolve faltering under the weight of our shared agony. "What if I had been hurt, Caleb? What if you had?"
"Naomi, I—" Caleb's voice faltered, his words lost in the void of our uncertainty.
"This is too much, too soon, and it's too hard," I asserted, the weight of my words heavy in the air between us.
Caleb's eyes flickered shut and reopened, as if attempting to shake off the grip of a nightmare. His facade of calm belied the turmoil brewing within him. I understood that if I were anyone else, he would handle things differently. Yet, even amidst the tension between us, he remained steadfast in his efforts to be considerate of my triggers.
"We were good before Jasmine and Xion came here," he pleaded, his voice tinged with desperation. "We can get back to that, just give it some time. We can even do some counseling sessions together if that’s what it takes. We’re close enough to the beginning of our relationship where we can start fresh and put this behind us.”
I ran my fingers through my hair, the tension coiling tight in my chest as I fought to stay focused on my departure.
“If you need space, I’ll send you on a solo vacation. Anywhere you wanna go. Somewhere you can just relax and clear your mind,” Caleb offered, his voice laced with sincerity. “I can stay here or head to New York to handle your business, whatever you need.”
I listened to his proposals, his words held a tempting promise of escape. Under different circumstances, I might have entertained his ideas. But not today. Not while I felt suffocated by his all-consuming presence, trapped within the confines of his well-intentioned but suffocating embrace. I knew that true liberation lay beyond the confines of his well-meaning gestures.
"Come on, Baby, just let me fix this. Running isn't the answer," Caleb pleaded, his voice heavy with desperation.
But I couldn't relent, couldn't let myself be swayed by his earnest appeal. With a determined shake of my head, I silently affirmed my decision, my resolve unyielding despite the ache in my heart.
"We were living in an illusion," I countered, bitterness lacing each word as I peeled back the layers of our facade. "I was caught up in vacation vibes, and you...You enjoyed the thrill of the chase. For the first time a woman left your bed in the middle of the night, I was just something for you to do."
"That's bullshit and you know it," Caleb fired back, his eyes boring into mine as if questioning my sanity. "Time's the only illusion here. You're still stuck on this 'not real' nonsense just because we've only known each other a few weeks. I love you, Naomi. That’s real."
"Time? Is that what you think this is about?" I countered, frustration lacing my words. "Your ex-wife has been tormenting me since the moment she set foot in this town. Think about all the hell I've been through since that elevator encounter."
"I wish I could erase it all—" Caleb started, his voice heavy with remorse.
"But you can't!" I interjected, my own anguish rising to the surface.
"I know these are extraordinary circumstances, but if you'd just sit and listen to me, Naomi."
"Why are you making this so difficult?" I demanded, frustration bubbling beneath the surface as I searched for a way to break through his defenses. “Love doesn’t fix everything, and ours isn’t strong enough to withstand this…if it was even love at all.”
Caleb's eyes widened, a flicker of hurt and disbelief flashing across his features before he masked it with a stoic facade.
"So what are you saying?" he implored. "Does everything we shared, everything we felt... mean nothing? You’re gonna look me in my eyes and tell me none of it was real, Naomi?"
My heart pleaded for reconciliation, while my mind screamed for liberation.
"I'm saying I got caught up," I forced the words out, each syllable a dagger aimed at his heart.
Caleb staggered backward, his expression a raw mixture of shock and hurt, as if my confession had successfully pierced his very soul as his hand moved to rest over his heart.
"I came here to focus on me, my healing, and I got caught up," I reiterated, twisting the metaphorical dagger to ensure he felt the depth of my words.
"So we're done? Just like that?" His voice trembled with disbelief, the anguish evident in every word.
"Caleb, a month from now, you won't remember me," I stated, a hollow laugh escaping my lips.
"Won't remember the love of my life?" His voice cracked with desperation, his eyes pleading for me to reconsider. “Naomi if you walk away, you’re going to take the breath out my lungs right with you. You might as well be packing my heartbeat into that suitcase."
"I'm not the love of your life," I shot back, the bitterness of reality staining my words. "Jasmine said—"
"Fuck Jasmine!" he erupted, the intensity of his outburst sending a shiver down my spine. He quickly composed himself, scrubbing his hands over his face in a futile attempt to regain control. "Naomi," he said softly, his tone a stark contrast to his outburst. "I will not forget you. I can’t forget you. If you leave, I will have to face the rest of my life with a fucking hole in my chest where my heart used to be.'“
“Caleb…”
“Tell me what you want, Naomi. I’ll do it. Anything.”
“I want to go,” I said sternly, the weight of my words hanging heavy in the air. “Too much has happened since the moment I decided to be with you. Your love is drowning me.”
Caleb’s expression crumbled, his hurt mirroring my own. “I don’t want to drown you, I want to love you. This shit the other night, there was no way for me to anticipate that, Naomi, but I swear on my life no one will ever harm you again. I was willing to take that bullet for you, no questions asked,” he pleaded, desperation lacing his voice.
I thought about his split-second decision to wrestle the gun from Jasmine, the bullet Xion received. It could have easily been Caleb, and that thought tore me in two. The mere possibility of losing him threatened to suffocate me. Loving him felt dangerous, like tiptoeing along the edge of a precipice.
"Jasmine is out of the way. She's in a psych facility somewhere.", he continued.
"And then you and Xion are just gonna go back to being besties after his girlfriend tried to kill me? You came in the kitchen all happy about it when you got back from visiting him."
I understood Caleb’s reasoning for visiting Xion, despite the tangled web of their friendship, if you could even call it that anymore. Burying the hatchet was a step forward, a necessary closure in their turbulent history. But beneath my understanding simmered a pang of hurt. After all, it was the woman who once had them both in her grasp who had tried to end my life. Were they all just going to be friends now? Was Caleb going to invite Xion over, with Jasmine in tow? I couldn’t bear to stick around and find out.
He shifted his gaze from the floor to meet mine, his eyes a tumultuous blend of sorrow and determination. "It's not like that. I don't want to carry the hatred for him anymore," Caleb confessed, his voice heavy with the weight of past betrayals. "Seeing him like that... I thought he was going to die. It opened a part of me that had been closed since I found out he betrayed me." His words carried the rawness of old wounds reopening, exposing vulnerabilities long buried. "But it doesn't mean that we're about to be joined at the hip again. But if I need to drop the possibility of that friendship for you, Naomi, I will. You don't even have to ask me. It’s done."
I shook my head, a silent plea to myself that I was making the right choice. I was tired of his pragmatic approach and logical solutions. What I craved was a clean break from California, a chance to erase this chapter of my life as if it had never existed.
"Caleb, just let me go," I insisted, the words tasting bitter on my tongue.
Caleb's gaze bore into me, as if seeing me for the first time. His eyes held a cocktail of disbelief and agony, a reflection of the turmoil raging within him.
"Naomi, you have the freedom to choose your path. You're not a captive in this place. It would tear me apart if you left, rip me to shreds, but after everything we've endured, and what I'm prepared to do for you, if leaving is what you need, I won't stand in your way."
His words stopped my breathing. Jeffery.
"What do you mean, Caleb? You don't owe me anything. We're over," I protested, the gravity of his intentions sinking in.
A twisted grin twisted his features, a dark shadow creeping over his anguish. "The wheels are already in motion. I'm taking care of it, whether we're together or not."
"Why?" My voice trembled, barely a whisper in the charged air.
"Because I love you!" His declaration pierced through the tension, each word a raw confession of his deepest emotions. "If I've been hovering over you like a guardian these past days, it's because the thought of losing you is unbearable. I can't imagine my life without you. I need you, Naomi, with every fiber of my being. But I won't chain you to me. I won't try to control you like that bastard did. If loving you means letting you go, I'll do it."
I sucked in a breath, feeling the weight of Caleb's turmoil wash over me like a tidal wave.
"Damn it, Naomi," he muttered, a storm of emotions brewing in his eyes. "I failed you. I failed to keep you safe when you needed me the most. Every moment since I saw you on your knees, with Jasmine..." His voice faltered, the memories too agonizing to articulate. "If I had realized the danger Jasmine posed, I would have acted differently. I messed up. But I won't let anyone hurt you again. I promised you that much. Whether you walk away or stay, I'll keep my word."
"You don't owe me anything," I fired back, as if it were a shield against his guilt.
Caleb's shoulders slumped, his hands coming up to clutch the crown of his head, a gesture of surrender.
But confusion mingled with hurt in Caleb's gaze. "You really leaving me, Naomi?" he whispered, disbelief coloring his tone.
My heart thundered with protest, aching to defy the gravity pulling me towards him, yet my mind whispered its assent in the hushed language of logic. We stood there, locked in a silent standoff, the weight of our unspoken words heavy in the charged air between us.
Suddenly, a notification from Uber interrupted the tense silence. My driver was outside, waiting, and I hadn't finished packing properly.
"Shit," I muttered, turning back to hastily stuff my suitcase shut.
"Naomi, please don't go," Caleb pleaded softly with my back turned to him.
I fought back the tears that threatened to overwhelm us both, choosing silence and the facade of composure over a response, choosing to focus instead on the task at hand. When I finally managed to drag the suitcase off the bed and turn around with it in my hand, Caleb was right in front of me. I averted my gaze, fixing my eyes on his chest, afraid of what I might see if I looked up into his eyes.
"Caleb, please..." I began, my voice barely above a whisper.
But he didn't move. Instead, he dropped to his knees in front of me, pressing his face against my stomach as he wrapped his arms around me.
"Caleb..." I choked out, the weight of the moment crushing me.
"If this is my last time ever holding you... please let me savor it. I'm begging you," he whispered, his voice broken and defeated.
As I gazed upwards, my eyes pleaded with an unseen force, yearning for the fortitude to endure this excruciating moment, as I stood there trapped in his arms. He began to say something, his words coming out quickly and desperately, yet not loud enough for me to hear. Though his words weren't meant for my ears, I could feel their resonance binding us even closer, threatening to tether me to him irrevocably. If I didn't sever these ties now, I feared I wouldn't possess the strength to do so in the future.
"Goodbye, Caleb," I finally whispered, gently removing his hands from me without meeting his gaze, unable to bear the intensity of his emotions any longer.
With a heavy heart, I walked out, the weight of my decision pressing down on me with each step. I dared to steal a glance back at Caleb, still on his knees, back still turned to me, his form bowed in anguish, his forehead now touching the ground as he hunched over. The sight shattered what little resolve I had left, and tears streamed down my cheeks, blurring my vision as I covered my mouth. But I couldn't stay. I couldn't bear to witness the aftermath of my departure.
Despite the torrent of emotions threatening to engulf me, I quickened my pace, descending the stairs with a sense of urgency. As I settled into the backseat of the Uber, the tears continued to fall unabated. The pain of goodbye.
With a heavy heart and a soul weighed down by regret, I made my way back to New York hoping that I didn’t leave my heart in California.
Wow